Lifesaver continued!!!
Its been long since ive made the last post and yeah, there are a bunch of people trying to make it to this post.But like the saying goes, only the weirdos survive. Here continues the list:
5. What do you call a cubicle that moves? Especially the one in my office.....Its also called a lift/elevator. The intelligent monkeys that made the touch board are dead else i would have personally ensured that they get to meet george bush....The lifts do everything except what you want them to do. You have only one button and this is not enought to control the intelligent monkeys that continue to live in the board.
What makes this scenario worse is the presence of dumb monkeys. This category of 'people' is something you cant do anything about. Immaterial of their size in proportion to the cumulative sum of the free space in the lift, these people will barge into the lift and ensure that you get a taste of what it is to get stuck in a frut(funk+rut courtesy my 1561237th grey cell that just passed away). Some say they are purblind but i think they are proof that evolution stopped midway resulting in misfortune for the rest.While sometimes it helps that you have the fairer sex in the lift, most of the time it doesnt.
Do let me know if we can stop this from achieving epidemic proportions. Some suggestions are:
1. Start practising yoga as soon as you get into the lift - It might be good for your health but considering that you wouldnt have perfected it and the lift is in motion, you will turn in to a small whirlwind which might scare away these 'people'
2. Ensure that a softy is in the lift. Or use your god given bowels.
3. Play James Blunt!!!
6. This is my theory of how the word horse power has come into existence. Thanks to this bunch of people. Before Henry Ford and GM (and also probably after the Tata's 1 Lakh car),people used to ride the good ol way on horses and horse-drawn carts/chariots. Sometimes it just does not listen to the rider and tends to take off. Now replace the horse with a two-wheeler(sometimes four wheeler) and the rider with a left-side mentally challenged individuals and you have something that can match a molotov cocktail. A soon as a red signal comes through, there will be a screeching sound for a few seconds which ensures that even the blind person is aware of it(whoever said that our roads are not pedestrian friendly!!!). And this is when the game starts between the rider(with his xyz horsepower vehicle) and the line. Apparently, when you sit on one of these vehicles, seeing a red light and sometimes wear a helmet, the line starts moving away from you. And your horse charges at it. But the rider is trying to keep it in control by applying the brakes but its a losing game in the end. Suddenly the line comes back. Now it is the chance for the rear tyre to chase the line. And before you know it, people can actually chat up with the traffic coming from different directions.
The solution?Apparently, the author has sighted some pedestrians who have started wearing helmets for safety reasons but might be the key to solving the moving line problem
7. "One Black Coffee Please" - The evergreen ericsson ad might be a fond memory. And with this bunch of people, it is a distant fading reality. This bunch likes to converse on their mobiles with deaf people. From muttering imprecations to chalking out the business strategy for the next 100 years, you have it all. They like to provide you a glimpse into their life but hey, my dog needs to go for a poopie!!!
Solution? Take your mobile and start speaking the exact same or opposite(depending on how you identify yourself with the individual). And if you dont have a mobile, remember the ericsson ad!!!Give a new meaning to the word palm!!!
While this list is far from run out, i can hear my 1561238th grey cell snap. The price of a grey cell is a million red cells. So as soon i am about to lose these red cells, the new brigade shall be here......
Thought For the day
Interviewer - What makes you think you are suited for this job of HR?
Interviewee - While i might have a single-digit IQ score and laugh at stupid jokes....
Interviewer - You are taken!!!
5. What do you call a cubicle that moves? Especially the one in my office.....Its also called a lift/elevator. The intelligent monkeys that made the touch board are dead else i would have personally ensured that they get to meet george bush....The lifts do everything except what you want them to do. You have only one button and this is not enought to control the intelligent monkeys that continue to live in the board.
What makes this scenario worse is the presence of dumb monkeys. This category of 'people' is something you cant do anything about. Immaterial of their size in proportion to the cumulative sum of the free space in the lift, these people will barge into the lift and ensure that you get a taste of what it is to get stuck in a frut(funk+rut courtesy my 1561237th grey cell that just passed away). Some say they are purblind but i think they are proof that evolution stopped midway resulting in misfortune for the rest.While sometimes it helps that you have the fairer sex in the lift, most of the time it doesnt.
Do let me know if we can stop this from achieving epidemic proportions. Some suggestions are:
1. Start practising yoga as soon as you get into the lift - It might be good for your health but considering that you wouldnt have perfected it and the lift is in motion, you will turn in to a small whirlwind which might scare away these 'people'
2. Ensure that a softy is in the lift. Or use your god given bowels.
3. Play James Blunt!!!
6. This is my theory of how the word horse power has come into existence. Thanks to this bunch of people. Before Henry Ford and GM (and also probably after the Tata's 1 Lakh car),people used to ride the good ol way on horses and horse-drawn carts/chariots. Sometimes it just does not listen to the rider and tends to take off. Now replace the horse with a two-wheeler(sometimes four wheeler) and the rider with a left-side mentally challenged individuals and you have something that can match a molotov cocktail. A soon as a red signal comes through, there will be a screeching sound for a few seconds which ensures that even the blind person is aware of it(whoever said that our roads are not pedestrian friendly!!!). And this is when the game starts between the rider(with his xyz horsepower vehicle) and the line. Apparently, when you sit on one of these vehicles, seeing a red light and sometimes wear a helmet, the line starts moving away from you. And your horse charges at it. But the rider is trying to keep it in control by applying the brakes but its a losing game in the end. Suddenly the line comes back. Now it is the chance for the rear tyre to chase the line. And before you know it, people can actually chat up with the traffic coming from different directions.
The solution?Apparently, the author has sighted some pedestrians who have started wearing helmets for safety reasons but might be the key to solving the moving line problem
7. "One Black Coffee Please" - The evergreen ericsson ad might be a fond memory. And with this bunch of people, it is a distant fading reality. This bunch likes to converse on their mobiles with deaf people. From muttering imprecations to chalking out the business strategy for the next 100 years, you have it all. They like to provide you a glimpse into their life but hey, my dog needs to go for a poopie!!!
Solution? Take your mobile and start speaking the exact same or opposite(depending on how you identify yourself with the individual). And if you dont have a mobile, remember the ericsson ad!!!Give a new meaning to the word palm!!!
While this list is far from run out, i can hear my 1561238th grey cell snap. The price of a grey cell is a million red cells. So as soon i am about to lose these red cells, the new brigade shall be here......
Thought For the day
Interviewer - What makes you think you are suited for this job of HR?
Interviewee - While i might have a single-digit IQ score and laugh at stupid jokes....
Interviewer - You are taken!!!
posted by prad at 11:30 pm
0 comments
